Automatically post your Twitter updates to Facebook
Cross-posting your boring life makes it seem twice as boring. Choose a venue to crap out your trivial quips and stick to it.
Post your baby’s photo as your own
It doesn’t make us think “cute kid,” it makes everyone assume you have become immensely fat, lost your hair, etc.
Post updates while getting married
Do the smoosh-cake-in-each-other’s-faces thing and then post pics. We can wait.
Play Farmville, Mafia Wars or any of those other time sucks
Nothing shows the world you have no life better than seeing a badge from a virtual Facebook game. And then there’s the Farmville-addicted mom who allegedly… Shiver!
Post every time a famous person dies
RIP whoever. That’s what the Academy Award dead reel is for. And who are the freaks who click “like” on these notices?
Showing ur mustache pics
My shaggy gray mustache is awesome because it makes me look like my great great grandfather, it makes dogs bark at me and children run away in terror. It catches all manner of food and causes everything I drink to drizzle randomly down my chin. It assists me in my career as a Chester A Arthur impersonator and it looks REALLY cool with white tie and tails and a top hat. I love my ‘stache and chops!
Drink & Facebook
Let this sleazy stock photo, above, and this other dude’s alleged drinky deeds be a lesson to ya.
Talk about how much you hate your job
Yes it’s tempting. And yes, like some other person you will get fired for it.
Tell people you are going out of town
Unless you want your place robbed, not bright.
What is this, 2006? The poke feature is now only used by the creepy and/or desperate. It attracts attention, sure, in the same way a grenade thrown into a busy Starbucks would.